Rumour has it
by SheWhomLaughsLast
Summary: Spoilers for 3x06  written after reading the spoilers, my idea of what could happen after Finn opens his big mouth and throws out Santana's biggest secret. just a short one shot drabble. Kind of personal and terribly sad...in a way.


**Spoilers, people. Lots of them. Like, reading past this line will tell you what happens in the episode. Turn back now or give up the right to bitch and whine.**

**This is kind of a personal piece for me because, after reading the spoilers for 3x06, I related to what happened to Santana and, though I wasn't outted as hugely as she will be, I totally feel her pain. I had my ass kicked out of the closet before I was ready for it.**

**And I'm dedicating this to everyone who was outted by someone else, cause that shit sucks.**

**Anywho.**

I stormed away from Finn, arms crossed over my chest, eyes stinging like the hand I just used to slap the teenage freak as the tears filled my vision. How could he? He ruined my life. He stripped me of the dignity I had. He took everything I'd been trying to figure out and blew it all to hell. I ignored the weird looks I got, picking up the pace as I moved towards the door of the auditorium, ducking my head to shield my face and tears from the rest of the world.

How did he know?

It didn't matter now, anyways. My life was over. I wouldn't be able to show my face around here anymore. I'd have to transfer schools. Maybe hop a train to somewhere out of the city, like that guy who ran away with the circus to hydrate elephants or whatever. What was the water for in that movie anyway?

The point was I couldn't stay here.

Not when the hundred foot tall megaphone just screamed the biggest secret in my life out to the entire world.

"Santana?" I heard Brittany's voice call out to me as I passed. I didn't stop. I couldn't. I was unravelling, turning into a huge mess of emotions in the middle of the hallway. Seeing her would just make it worse. Knowing how I felt about her made me realise who I was, past the bitchiness and sarcastic words. I'd come to terms with the fact that I was gay.

But I wasn't ready to face the rest of the world with it yet.

And I just had my ass drop-kicked out of the closet by a failed football player.

Humiliating and ironic…I think…

I felt weak, vulnerable. The walls I'd spent most of my life building were now crashing down around me like a magnitude ten earthquake just hit my world and blew it all to hell.

I threw open the bathroom door and thanked god that no one was in there. Because, as soon as I reached the sink, my knees gave out as the torrent of emotions nearly knocked me to the ground. I caught myself on the edge of the counter, instead slowly lowering myself to the ground, sliding down the wall. The tears fell freely now, breaking through my will to keep them inside.

I hated him. I hated him like I'd never hated anyone before in my entire life. I hated him so much that I hated the air molecules around him and the ground he walked on. I hated his stupid face and his stupid hair, his stupid hobbit girlfriend, his _everything_!

"Santana?" Britt's voice floated through the air with the opening of the door as I tried to stifle a sob, my knees pulled to my chest, head resting on them. Her shoes tapped against the tiled flooring as she walked around the face me, crouching down to my level. I felt her hands resting on the upper part of my calves, only leaving to stroke my hair back.

She said nothing, though, knowing words would only make matters worse.

Slowly, she pushed my knees apart to make room for hers as she dropped down onto them and pulled me into her chest, letting me hide my face against her, arms wrapping under hers and hands resting on her shoulder blades.

I let it all out.

The pain, the guilt, the humiliation…

But most of all the shame.

I sobbed carelessly into the blonde, letting her hold me as I wept, letting her sooth the gaping wound that was what was left of my pride, my dignity.

"It's not- fair." I sobbed, my shoulders shaking violently, the sentence sounding off as I involuntarily sucked in a quick breath between the words.

"I know, Santana, I know." Her lips pressed against the top of my head and her fingers gently undid my ponytail, letting my hair fall free. Her digits pulled through my locks soothingly. The blonde rests her cheek on my crown. We sat there for what felt like hours, Brittany's warm arms around me, her smell surrounding me, yet not comforting me as it usually would. The only other words to pass between us within that time came from her in the quietest, emotion thick voice.

"You know I love you, right?"

I couldn't help it.

I cried harder.


End file.
